I had the same exact problem with my 2006 X5. After a number of attempts to fix the problem that consisted of re-programing the trans and replacing the DISA, my dealer managed to fix the problem. He replaced the transmission valve body and re-programmed the ECM and now the X5 drives beautifuly, no jerky shifts and no whiplash when the car is cold. This is a difficult problem to diagnose because it does not cause any fault codes.
Big thanks to Park Shore BMW in North Vancouver B.C.